I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
