Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
