Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
