Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
