the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize