you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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