she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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