please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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