shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Your cock deserves a montage
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
