were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
