We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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