is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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