It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
