bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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