North Korea, Best Korea!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
