we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
