ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
