I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize