Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
