they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
