smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
