so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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