it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
