It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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