Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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