We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were trust falling into bushes
My butt remains clenched, sir.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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