this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
