I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
