I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize