If that was your dad, he is hot
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
