gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
