Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
