after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
