Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
