My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize