i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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