maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
