Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
