i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
