HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
