so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
