So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
