This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
