i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We need to rekindle our bromance
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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