he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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