if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
