What a fucking waste of an outfit
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
