I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm too high and old for this...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
