So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found puke in my bra..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
