My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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