Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
