when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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