Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
