I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize