I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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