Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
