Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize