he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
