Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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