So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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