Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
