Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize