spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
