THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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