THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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