The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
