i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
