i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
